Evolutionary disadvantaged waterfowl

What with the nature of the corkscrew-like wedding tackle the common canard carries, this here duck, with the fire hose appendage, has a pronounced unlikelihood of passing on his genes. Notably unattractive to the average hen, his future is limited to swimming, feeding, and knocking over those little targets at the carnival.

Gathering Eggs

"Careful Doc, sometimes they shoot out of there at top speed..."

Dr. Chameleon's office is a dirty, cockroach infested bathroom in an old motel. He refuses his services to most mammals as they will likely eat him. A marmoset ate his receptionist after all, and that scenario replays in his mind when he's trying to fall asleep at night. As such, he is unrested and probably should not be examining cloacas at all, really. Combined with the fact that he never attended medical school of course.

Den Stora Kärleken

An album cover for covers of ABBA songs done in different musical styles.
'My Mama Said" as a bluegrass ditty.
'Ring Ring' as a full fledged polka (my favorite)
'Money, Money, Money' as Marilyn Manson would give 'er
'King Kong Song' like John Cougar Mellencamp would do...
You know, stuff like that. I think Rebecca Black will be on there too in some form or fashion.
These will be your ipod's favorite MP3s. That much is certain.

a Brony

With that nose of his, he can reach termites that reside deep in the recesses of the tree trunk.

More often than not though, he is finding cupcakes that reside deep in the recesses of the refrigerator.

more miscellaneous ineffectuals

Dimwitted jogging canine about to meet demise from worm-cat. Based on the works of Chaucer, mostly.

Upright crocodilligator gleefully unaware of his diabetes.

the curmudgeonly librarian of Pollyanna Ave.

Miss Fingletoste does not like children being loud near her books.

 'Dewey Decimal I'm Yours' is tattooed on her inner thigh.

She was married once, at a young age to a travelling circus manager.
He refused to poach her eggs so she left him.
She took solace in reading for many years, until one day she fell 

down a fire escape and cracked her skull open. 

A weevil crawled into the opening.

Now, she only reads part of the time.

Also, she collects old milk bottles.

some crazy mayans

These guys are all in a ska band together. They all share a two bedroom bungalow in Omaha, Nebraska. You can tell the leader of the group by the shorts. Only the leader may cover himself with polyester/fleece blends. Such is the pecking order of Mayan Ska Bands of Nebraska (M.S.B.N).

the Mighty Barista

Ricky only today made a skull shaped design in my choice of caffeinated beverage. It is believed that he is a master swordsman, a poet, and a collector of unique stamps. He has never experienced flatulence or the love of a morbidly obese woman. He has very little tolerance for poor tippers, or oil based pigments.  He will not confirm or deny any of these rumors lest he reveal too much about the enigma that is RICKY.

Soon to be a major motion picture.

whatever this is

lame-oid

five bucks

A Woodpecker's Knee

A jade idol of POLLEYEKLLU, whom the ancients worshiped lovingly, mostly out of fear of the agonizing death he would bring upon them from time to time. It was later discovered that his murdering spree was based not upon lack of worship attendees, but the fact that they always depicted his image with no legs. Polleyekllu did indeed have legs and was embarrassed to be crafted sans them.The newest form of language, spoken by an oh so fashionable teen...and what appears to be a bag of microwave popcorn being utilized as headgear.
Not really an aardvark. Just a toilet paper fan void of hypercoagulable tendencies.

the DEMON

the DEMON was created by the legendary JACK KIRBY during his run at DC COMICS. Here is the character, ruined by myself. It was not a prominent story point in the comics, but the DEMON really enjoyed hot specialty drinks. Even in the bowels of Hades he was known to sip on an EXPRESSO with nutmeg flavoring along with a Raspberry Scone or something of the like.

ALIENS and their feline presence.

Of course he smokes two cigars at a time, he's an alien. As such, his tolerance for tobacco is much higher than that of your average human. And being an alien, his very anatomy is significantly different than that of any earth-borne creature. One might go so far as to say 'more evolved'
The alien appetite is also unfamiliar. The cartilage of a human nose being a delicacy, moreso than your humble Bavarian Cream-Filled Donut or whathaveyou.
*note the penchant for women's footwear (above)...alien influence? Nope, that's all homo-sapien.
Of course alien weaponry is not so far removed from Earth's. Nor the penchant for soliloquy.
...Too off model?

not sure...

Just in time for the holidays...

traffic accident

q: Is it considered misogynist for a woman to be depicted as getting hit by an automobile?

˙ʇıɟʇno ʎdɯıʞs ɐ ƃuıɹɐǝʍ sı puɐ 'ʎʇuǝʍʇ puɐ uǝǝʇxıs ɟo sǝƃɐ ǝɥʇ uǝǝʍʇǝq sı uɐɯoʍ ǝɥʇ ssǝlun sı ʇɐɥʇ ˙ʇou ʎllɐɹǝuǝƃ ou :ɐ *

Why it is the woman is thrown at an incredible forward thrust post-impact is unclear. It is possible the car itself is not in motion at all, but parked at a K-Mart or some such similar store and the woman has been endowed with amazing rubber like qualities after a chemical accident at the rubber plant down in the industrial district; after which she, obviously distraught by the accident, started running backwards through town only to eventually collide with the automobile in question. Was that considered a run-on sentence?

Whilst pondering all of this, it seems to become clearer if you are listening to ABBA's "The Winner Takes It All" At least for me. I've taken the liberty of embedding it below...

blogfiller

A common occurrence in the lamely termed 'blogosphere'. Blog filler. Fulfilling no real purpose. Also, a special 'tip of the hat' (as Lorne Greene might say) to one John-Paul, the lone consumer whom purchased one of the T-Shirts from my MySoti page. Why he did it we may never know: he tactfully descibes the shirt as "dumb" which does little to answer the question.

receipt

The allmighty receipt is a written acknowledgement that a specified sum of money has been received as an exchange for goods or services. In stark contrast, an extremophile is an organism that thrives in extreme conditions that are detrimental to the majority of life on earth. To compare the two would be pointless, so don't even bother.

Bird Being Born